Luke 9: 37 - 62
The next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him. A man in the crowd called out, "Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child. A spirit seized him and he suddenly screams; it throws him into convulsions so that he foams at the moth. It scarcely ever leaves him and is destroying him. I begged your disciples to drive it out, but they could not."
A man cries out from the crowd for the help of Jesus. He has asked for help before from the disciples who were unable to drive the demon out. He has a problem. He asks for help. This is his only child. The child screams suddenly, gets thrown into convulsions, causes him to foam at the mouth. It is destroying him.
My problems don't compare with the heartache this man was having over seeing his child this way. My problems have more to do with not being able to reach my goals of who I want to be or priorities I want to set. Yet they are still problems. I can also cry out to Jesus for help. I didn't do that today. Today was frustrating for me. I am struggling with my teacher role overpowering my mother role. I don't know how to make them mesh. I like mothering more than teaching yet somehow I know they should fit together. I need the help of my God. He knows how it should work. He knows what will help me. Trust comes into play here again. I tried to trust today but felt like I was getting punched down each time I got back up to trust.
Oh Lord, I am sorry I so often do not ask for your help. Why would I go anywhere else without coming to you first. I want love and care for my sons. The teaching seems, at least to me, to be getting in the way. I feel like the teaching has become me inspecting their work for mistakes instead of bringing out their strengths. That makes me feel unloving even if it shouldn't. I don't know what I need to do or if I need to just be. Guide my thought and plans. Please, speak to my heart how to be the mother and wife you made me to be.
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